In today’s episode, I give a little life update about the many big-life-changes going on right now (even good stress is stress, am I right?!) and how my husband and I can laugh that we haven’t exactly been showing up as our best selves for each other lately.
Just trust me when I say we wouldn’t have always been able to laugh about it. It’s taken years of navigating through “stuck” places. I’ve got three principles for you (that grew out of my own failings and my work with other people) that can actually help us to get unstuck.
How to Fight Well
1. Assume positive intent. It sounds easy to do when you’re not actually mad at someone! Step outside of your assumptions and say, “let me tell myself a story where I assume the most positive intent about the person.” It may not even be entirely accurate, but it’s a willful act that helps your own growth, and calms your emotional churning so you’re set up better for Steps 2 &
2. Seek to Understand: most of us really just want to explain ourselves. Instead, show up with the posture that you want to listen, understand, and that you might even be wrong.
3. Own all that you can, but not more than you can. We can validate and affirm how the other person felt, but don’t own more than you need to.
I want to invite YOU to start growing in this way. You can change, even if the other person never does, and find freedom when you live with the integrity of alignment. More on that to come…
Like what you heard?
This was just a brief snippet about “fighting well” that you can read much more about in The Miracle Moment.
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Nicole Unice is a popular author and communicator who is passionate about facilitating environments of safety and vulnerability so that individuals and communities can courageously identify the obstacles keeping them from maximum potential.
Nicole lives in Richmond, VA with her husband, three children, and two dogs!
In her books, Nicole is passionate about making transformation attainable and accessible to people in all stages of life. As a coach, she brings clarity and courage for individuals and teams as they pursue a preferred future. As a speaker, Nicole brings both wit and wisdom to the platform, with an honest and vulnerable approach that appeals to both faith and leadership environments alike.