THE FIVE STAGES OF WRITING:

#1: Denial. Act like the words you’ll write will come out exactly as they sound in your head. procrastinate.

#2: Anger. Why in the world would these terrible editors ASK YOU FOR WORK FOR GOODNESS SAKE AND EXPECT YOU KEEP DEADLINES?

#3: Bargaining: Tell yourself that you WILL NOT get on Facebook or shop for custom maternity T-shirts for friends or read movie reviews from 2011 on Rotten Tomatoes until you write AT LEAST ONE SENTENCE.

#4: Depression. Admit it. You are a horrible writer. Why did you ever think you had anything to say in the first place? Drown your sorrows in another cup of coffee. Check FB again. Shop for lip gloss. Cry.

#5: Acceptance. Write two more sentences. Then two more. Start over from step #1. Finish first draft. Read it and realize it’s BAD but not TERRIBLE. Smooth it over. Read it aloud. Smooth again. Press send.

Decide writing isn’t so horrible after all….