The idea of book signings seems pretty glamorous, until you actually do one.
I’ve done quite a few since “She’s Got Issues” first launched in April 2012, and I’d love to enlighten you with a behind-the-scenes look, sort of the “True Hollywood Story” of publishing. So, (drumroll please)….THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT HAPPEN AT BOOK SIGNINGS:
#10: The author sits with their books, looking at you like a lonely puppy dog looking for a home. (truth is, most authors don’t care that much if you buy a book, they are just happy to say hi and meet you! Ask them anything!! Anything! They can’t wait to talk!!!!)
#9: The author sits with their books, and tries to appear busy by checking their iphone. (What they are really doing is texting every family member within a fifty mile radius to say ‘So help me, if you do not come over here and act like a fan right now, I’m disowning you)
#8: The author gives away something in the vain hope of attracting fans. (I already tried this one. It didn’t attract fans but it made the one lady who stopped to ask me where the cookbooks were very happy, since she was my “random fan” that I gifted with a Starbucks card)
#7: Finally, someone approaches the table! Here are the things they will most likely say:
#6: “You wrote this?” (yep, the whole thing)
#5: “I have an idea for a children’s book….” (if it involves a pretty princess, a gentle lamb, or a goodnight moon, those are already taken)
#4: “How did you get published?” (hard work and lots of rejection)
#3: then they walk away.
#2: A few true fans will approach the table. They have already read something you’ve written and they want to thank you for your words. You practically fall off your chair with gratitude, and then awkwardly rush around the table to sweep them into a too-long, too-tight hug. I do not advise this, as it usually works against other timid readers approaching your table.
#1: You meet a few good people, have a few good conversations, laugh a few times at the hilarity of human nature, and get a chance to write a personal note of encouragement to the few folks who’ve read your book. Which makes the rest all worth it.
Tomorrow I’m going to be signing books at Lifeway Bookstores in Richmond. (Click here for the coupon!) NEXT TO THIS HUGE SIGN:
I’ll be there from 12-2, ready to talk about your great children’s book idea, the fact that I did write the WHOLE book, how to get published, how your mother-in-law has issues, or whatever else is on your mind. I’ll refrain from hugging you too tightly, but I’ll happily sign your books! (and I’m still bribing people with Starbucks). Tweet me @nicoleunice or let me know you are coming over on Facebook! I’ll be the one staring out the window with lonely eyes, taking pictures of myself or my latte with my iphone, and threatening family members to show up.