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This is a story about finding wonder, and losing it, and finding it again. This story takes place in an unlikely place (a golf course) at an unlikely time (mid-morning on a Monday). It was early spring, and a neighbor had just tipped me off that the course is closed on Monday, and the grounds crew looks […]

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They say the world is round. But I think it has sharp edges. I walk out of my door and I see new life bursting forth in glorious array, dogwoods and birds, tulips and caterpillars. All of creation sings of his glory. But through another door in another part of the world is a baby […]

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(Thanks to Nicki Metcalf photography for capturing this moment–God is so good, and I am overwhelmed by the way he moved at un/defined. What a joy.) This is a full season. I have known “full” before–with busyness, with young children, with impending changes. But this feels like a new kind of full–a deep passion to […]

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  Hey friends, on the heels of un/defined, I wanted to republish this post I wrote a while ago about getting back to reality after a “mountain top” experience at a retreat. Hope it’s helpful to you!  Drawing back on my decade-ish of retreat experience, this is what I know: I know that what has […]

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This morning I dragged myself out of bed to run. And by run, I mean stagger through the dark and call it exercise. It was soupy-fog-dark, a dark that made even my feet feel far away, swallowing the dim beam of my flashlight before it ever had a chance to shine. Faith is running in […]

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Father, be kind to me for I am not good at being kind to myself  Father, be near to me I’ve wandered so far and cannot find my way home  Father, be strong for me for I’ve carried burdens too heavy for my heart  Father, be real to me I’ve fashioned a mirage of impressions and smoke  […]

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This is the last post in a series On why I’m Becoming a Pastor. You’ll want to start here. If God wanted me to be a pastor, why didn’t he make me a man? I’ve thought that so many times. I’ve thought it as a question, as an argument. I’ve prayed it with defiant anger […]

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This is part three of a series called “On Why I’m Becoming A Pastor.” You’ll want to start reading here first. One of Doubt’s strongest assets is her timing. She stays quiet for me until a decision is made, until a direction is set, and then she begins. She is relentless. She’s like a friend […]

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This is part two of a series. Start here first. I wore a blue sweater dress and black flats with a big bow on the toe. We stood in a receiving line and I locked hands with hundreds of people, who congratulated us kids like we had done something to deserve it; somehow because our dad […]

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  Fifteen years ago this month, I sat in the back row of a nondescript classroom and thought I don’t belong here.  Nearly everyone else in the room was at least ten years older than me, and male. I loved the professor and loved what he said even more. He talked passionately about the church, about her story, about […]